Here's To the Night
by HopelessRomantic225
Summary: After “The one with the morning after.” Ross and Rachel had a rocky break up, but deep down inside, it really isn’t over for either of them. They decide to have one last night together to ease their addictions, and forget the rest of the world, in memory


Here's To the Night

A/N: Well, what can I say, I love this song, and I love Ross and Rachel together. I hadn't heard it in a while, and when I listened to the lyrics carefully, it reminded me of the episode where they have that long fight and the others listen in: (The one the morning after.) So, here's a bittersweet little fic I thought of while listening to one of my favorite songs: Here's To the Night by Eve 6.

Summary: After "The one with the morning after." Ross and Rachel had a rocky break up, but deep down inside, it really isn't over for either of them. They decide to have one last night together to ease their addictions, and forget the rest of the world, in memory of what they had.

Ross and Rachel, Rachel and Ross… She never thought this would end. One stupid mistake led all her dreams of being with that man forever simply get flushed down the drain. She loved him. She really, _truly_ loved him. She thought he felt the same about her, considering he had been dying to have her since the 9th grade, but when Gunther of all people told her about that Xerox girl, Cleo or something, she knew their love was a one way street.

The tears in her eyes stung as she tried keeping them in. The fight was officially over, and she had just thrown him out of her apartment. Well, not entirely. He was standing there, slouching on one leg, like he tended to do when he was upset or disappointed, and just looked at her. Chocolate brown eyes met glowing hazel in a deep, concentrated stare. He gulped, sighed shakily, and turned to face the door.

"Wait…" her faint voice called out. Hold on… where did that come from? She meant what she said about her wanting him to leave, right? Why would you want him to stay, after he just cheated on you and didn't have the guts to tell you personally? Of course she wanted him gone… right? She didn't really know why she said it, but it alerted a chain reaction of feelings so powerful, she had to grip the couch for balance. He shifted his weight to his right foot, and almost looked hopeful.

"Yeah…?" She began to feel her hands shake, and she knew what she wanted to do, but did he? Would he let her do this? Could she just forget, even if it was for one night?

_So denied so I lied are you the now or never kind  
In a day and a day love I'm gonna be gone for good again  
Are you willing to be had? Are you cool with just tonight?  
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well_

"Ross, I… Um, I need to ask you something, before you go… Now, you may not agree to this, but…"

"Rachel… please. I'll do anything, I swear…"

"Will you not mention this to the rest of the guys? I don't want them all over me just yet… You know them. They find out we've broken up, and they'll just… be them, you know?" She cleared her throat, wiped at her eyes, and began wringing her hands together. Ross could tell she was nervous. That's not what she was meaning to say, and he knew it. So, going out on a limb, Ross did the unthinkable.

"Look, Rach… Can I just have one more night? One more night of love, and passion, and, and, and everything we shared? Let's just, for one night, forget everything but each other…? I have asked for forgiveness, and I won't get it, I know, but just… things ended so abruptly and with you working a lot, we haven't really had a night like this in a, in a long time. Just one final night, in memory of what we had…?" She stared at him in utter disbelief. He had read her mind.

"Ross… I don't know…I can't stop thinking about you in bed with that, that girl! I don't know if I can handle all this..."

"Please Rach? Only for tonight, no strings attached, and no one has to know…" She looked deep into his eyes, and sighed. She wanted it very badly. All of her morals and beliefs, and instincts screamed _don't do it_ but her heart said otherwise.

"Ok…" she murmured. Carefully, slowly, the two lovers walked towards one another; not rushing, and not breathing. Then, as they embraced, they kissed.

_Here's to the nights we felt alive  
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry  
Here's to goodbye  
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon_

"Ross, um… are you sure about this? Cause I mean… well, you know…" They were casually lying on Rachel's bed, still fully dressed. He groaned and sat up.

"Rachel, we don't have to do this… I know I screwed up, and I'm sorry. I would do anything to just be able to go back in time…" Ross tenderly rubbed his forehead, as his eyes began to water.

"Ross, no. I want this. I do. I'm just afraid…" she turned away from him, but he pulled her face back towards him.

"Rachel… what are you afraid of?" To her, his words meant everything. What _was_ she afraid of? Was she really afraid of anything? Knowing all that she knew, she realized almost right away to answer to his question.

_Put your name on the line along with place and time  
Wanna stay not to go I wanna ditch the logical  
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well_

"Well, uh, I guess I'm… I'm afraid of waking up tomorrow morning and not having you… Knowing I will never have you again terrifies me, but also knowing what you did… it completely overshadows my true reason… I'm so confused, Ross…" Rachel softly began to cry, and Ross held her tight, holding back tears of his own.

"Rachel?"

"Yeah, Ross?"

"I don't want tomorrow to come… I just want all of this to go away, and I wish none of this had ever happened…"

"I know Ross… me too." As the two gazed into each other's eyes, they saw exactly what was reflected in their own: love, adoration, and hope.

_Here's to the nights we felt alive  
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry  
Here's to goodbye  
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon_

Their entire night consisted of passionate love making, and tears of joy. Rachel understood that she should have spent more time with him, and Ross knew he shouldn't have looked to another woman for support. Lying in the pitch black darkness, hearing his steady breathing, she thought of Mark. Only an idiot couldn't have noticed that he had feelings for her, and she knew it. Meeting him in the diner where Monica worked, him offering her a great job, becoming great friends… it all seemed like fate. She was so thankful for her job, but knowing it cost her the most precious relationship in her life was almost enough to make her quit.

As Rachel was awake, thinking about her future and what it may have in store for her, Ross was dreaming of his. He saw exactly what he wanted to see: Him and Rachel sitting on a porch swing of a huge white house with blue shutters, drinking coffee, and watching their three kids playing in the front yard. He was pregnant, and he had his hand lightly on her belly. She was happy with him, and he was happy with her. Of course having meaningless sex with Chloe was wrong, and he would have never done it if he was sober. But blaming it on the alcohol was pointless and wrong, and he knew it.

Rachel watched Ross sleep. She liked it, too. She liked the way his un-gelled hair fell in his face, and how his bottom lip stuck out just a tad bit more than his top. She liked the way he smelled, the way he laughed, and the more she thought about it she knew she liked everything about him. Ross loved everything about her, as well. But they both knew that… who didn't?

Gently, she nudged his shoulder, trying to wake him up. She had something to say.

_  
Here's to the nights we felt alive  
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry  
Here's to goodbye  
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon  
_

No matter how hard she nudged him, Ross still would not wake up. Frustrated, Rachel let her fatigue wash over her, and soon she was asleep, and dreaming of Ross.

The most pleasurable dreams engulfed them that night, and curled up in each others arms, they both felt peaceful, secure, and relaxed. It wasn't until about 5 in the morning did reality kick itself back into their lives.

"Mmm… Rachelll…? Waggup… Rachelll…" Ross sat up, glanced at the time, and cursed himself for falling asleep.

"What is it honey? Are the kids okay?" Rachel muttered. Ross's eyes snapped open and so did Rachel's. "I meant, I meant are Monica and Chandler and Joey and Phoebe okay! Not kids, because we don't have any…" Awkward silence. They both had a mutual understanding of what lie ahead.

"Well, I guess, I guess I should get going… we don't want the gang to get suspicious or anything…"

Rachel sadly nodded in agreement. She hoped he would ask to stay.

"Yeah… I guess this is it then, huh? This is the end?" Ross nodded.

"Rachel, I don't want this to be over, but it has to. I know I messed up, and you gave me everything I could ever ask for last night. I got to say good-bye to you, and good-bye to us. I know I will always be your friend but… this is definitely something to remember. I love you, you know. And I will never, _ever_ stop. I won't give up on us either." Rachel smiled a sad smile.

"I know."

_All my time is froze in motion  
Can't I stay an hour or two or more  
Don't let me let you go  
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well_

He turned to leave, and once again unexpected words leaped out of her mouth.

"Wait!" He stopped, hand still clutching the doorknob. "I still… I still love you too. And maybe, maybe once I forgive you, and once I am over what you did… maybe there is still hope for us." She could tell he was smiling; barely, but still smiling.

"Yeah…" and without looking back, he opened the door, and was gone. Tears fell freely from her eyes, and she sobbed into her pillow. She could smell him, and it intoxicated her. After a countless amount of time of crying, she was out of tears. The clock read 7:02 and she knew Monica would be up soon. Rachel sniffed and wiped her eyes, and knew exactly what would make her feel better.

On her dresser, a tiny t-shirt lay folded and untouched since the day before. She lifted the shirt over her head, and felt a weight lift off her shoulder. Smiling to herself, she crawled back into bed. She didn't think tomorrow would be so bad._  
_

_Here's to the nights we felt alive  
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry  
Here's to goodbye  
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon_

A/N: I hope you liked it! I know I do! My first R/R fic so please let me know how I did!


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